Momentary Lapses of Time
by Rozozzy
Summary: She comes and goes like the summer rain and the winter sun, and then she doesn't come anymore.


**A/N:** Growing up, I always adored Edna/Seymour. I was rooting for them to end up together, but they never did. I really like the dynamics of their relationship. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Edna comes to him because he's fresh and because they work together, and well, what isn't exciting about a textbook, behind-closed-doors work romance? After all, a little secrecy and living on the edge are what the best romantic affairs are made of. The stuff that comes from the movies. She ends up getting caught up in the idea of getting caught. It's scandalous. Dangerous. Naughty. A part of her is genuinely attracted to him, but another part is attracted to the idea of _them._

* * *

Edna comes to him because there's something about him that's utterly charming. Maybe it's because he has a certain childlike wonder in his eyes, a certain sweetness, a hope for love and for life and the desire for true happiness. Maybe it's because he's inexperienced, and she can show off what kind of woman she is. One who's daring. Risqué. Maybe she's hoping that she'll sweep him off his feet, in her looks and in how she carries herself. Maybe she's hoping she'll be in control this time, that she'll be the heartbreaker and not the one getting her heart broken.

Maybe it's because she is.

* * *

Edna leaves because she's bored. There are other men to entice and be enticed by, more experienced men, younger and richer and more attractive men. The initial thrill of a secret romance has died down. There are riskier, more exhilarating experiences out there. Waiting for her.

She tries many men with many names and many faces, and she gets a hold on them. Men drop at her feet as she picks up her rhythm, and she can get nearly any man she wants with a single look.

Then, she slips. She falls in love, and then all that power is taken away.

* * *

Edna comes to him because the younger and richer and more attractive men hurt her. They always end up hurting her. But when she comes to him, he doesn't hurt her. He places her on a pedestal and kisses the ground she walks on, and she likes that. She thrives in it. She feels in control again, she feels like she has dominion over someone again. It feels good knowing someone loves you, but it feels better knowing that someone would do anything for you.

* * *

Edna leaves because there's someone else who has more sway over him, someone else who prevents him from doing and thinking for himself. She loves him, she knows she does, but she can't be with him when his mother has the Final Word on everything he does.

She can't be with someone she's ashamed to be with. He's spineless. Weak. Pitiful. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself, so how can he ever stand up for her?

A test. He fails. He chooses Mother. She walks away.

* * *

Edna comes to him because she doesn't know what she wants, and she might as well figure that out in a relationship than waste away being single. Right? Her internal clock is a tick tick ticking time bomb, and soon her entire life will flicker by and then what? Will she be unmarried, without children, withering away alone without a family to love and to love her? _Ha._ God forbid. She'll settle if she has to. Anything to not wind up alone, _alone alone alone alone…_ she can't end up alone.

And he takes her back, because he is the one person on this planet who would take her back time and time again, no matter how much she breaks him. Because he's stupidly in love with her for some goddamn reason, and she can take advantage of that.

Every night that she drops him off at his place, she drives into an empty parking lot somewhere and sits alone. She thinks about how warm and naïve and genuine he is, while she's constantly going back and forth, back and forth, unsure of how she really feels. She lights a cigarette.

She almost feels guilty.

* * *

Edna leaves because it's the right thing to do. She loves being with him. She loves how he makes her feel. She loves him, but not wholeheartedly, and what kind of person deserves to be loved half-heartedly while their love is simple and pure? No one. Especially not Seymour.

So when she leaves, it is bitter, because a part of her wishes she could be 100% invested in him. She wants that for him, but it just can't be that way. They don't work. The pieces only fit if you force them together, but it isn't complete if there are some parts missing.

And when she leaves, it is also sweet, because she is free and because he is free. She can find someone whom she loves with all her heart, and he can find someone who loves him with all of theirs. And it's bitter because the love they had was real but not whole, and it's sweet because maybe this is what's best for the both of them.

* * *

Edna comes to him because there is something that pulls her back in, back into the same cycle and same habits and same routine. There is something about a romantic past, about having a history with someone, that prevents her from wiping the slate completely clean. Stains are always left behind. Faded. But they're there, and they're a reminder of what was, of what could have been, of what still could be when they cross paths again and again.

* * *

Edna comes because there's something nice about the familiar. She knows him and he knows her, and it's good to be back with him because it feels like home. And he welcomes her back, no matter how reluctant he is at first, and he accepts her flaws as he always has and always will.

Maybe she belongs here. Maybe this is right and it's meant to be. And maybe this time, it'll work. She thinks she finally knows what she wants, and she thinks what she wants is him.

* * *

Edna leaves because she knows what she wants, and what she wants isn't him.

She knows it isn't fair for her to keeping dropping in and out of his life like that, to get his hopes up once more, but she has to stay true to her heart. She knows she's fickle. She knows she wants the world but once she has it all, she'll get bored. Like she always does.

Perhaps one day she'll meet a man who can hold her attention for more than two months at a time. _Ha._

They've had a good run. It's been fun—she can't deny that—but it's time to move on. It's so easy to stay with the familiar, but that doesn't mean it's okay.

This is for good. No more circles. No more what-ifs. No more wiping the slate clean. Instead, she'll throw out the slate and find a new one.

* * *

Seymour waits, partly because he is lonely, and there is no other woman in his life besides Mother. But he also waits because he believes that there is an unspeakable bond between Edna and him. It's something that can't be shaken, no matter how many times they fall apart and rebuild and fall apart again. Yes, perhaps it is a foolish notion. True love may not exist after all. But if it did, he likes to think what he had with her was that, even if it didn't last.

So, even when she marries someone else, he still believes they'll find a way back to each other. And it is bitter knowing she's found love with someone else, but it is sweet knowing she's found happiness, even if it's with someone else. He clings to the little pieces of hope he has saved throughout the years, and he waits and he waits and he waits.

She doesn't come.

* * *

The sun is bright and light is pouring out, but this day could not be darker. Seymour clutches a bouquet of flowers and walks over to Edna's grave.

"You know Edna," he says, even though he doesn't know if she can hear him. "I always thought you and I would grow old together." He gives a sad chuckle. "It seemed as though, if I had waited long enough, you would come back to me, and we would be happy together. It turns out that I was wrong. Mother always said I was fool. She compared me to a lovesick schoolboy. Well, perhaps she was right." He places the flowers on her grave.

"I don't know what happens after death," he continues. "But perhaps we'll meet again. I should hope our paths will cross once more, Edna. When the time comes, I look forward to it."

She's dead. He knows that.

He's still waiting.

 _Fin._


End file.
